Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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