Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
