We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
