He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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