Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
