Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
