Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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