Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
