hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
