You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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