I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
