I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
