ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
