we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
