i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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