Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
