he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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