It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I want you more than these girls want KFC
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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