remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
