The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
