Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
