Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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