Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
