4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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