Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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