She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize