i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
