he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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