Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
