We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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