; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
