I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
