So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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