Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
