I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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