Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
