she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
