you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
