Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
