i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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