They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
