sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
