Whod you bang
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
