Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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