I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
