my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
