I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
