i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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