Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize