he shaved USA in his pubs
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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