fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
