Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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