Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize