The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
