I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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