thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
