I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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