I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just gargled with NyQuil
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
