well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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