did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize