i think my mom watched the whole time
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I know her cup size but not her name....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
