wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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