North Korea, Best Korea!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
